Looking Beyond The Dark Clouds | World Mental Health Day 2019

I have been debating whether to post anything about World Mental Health Day. It feels as if whatever I say will not make a difference. I spent most of my teenage years bottling up the anxiety and depression I was experiencing, as I didn’t know how to articulate how I felt to others. It’s not as simple as a common cold, other people sometimes can’t see that you’re truly struggling. 

I hate even using the word ‘struggle’, when I talk about mental health. ‘Struggle’ seems like a word to describe a minor inconvenience. Mental illness is NOT a minor inconvenience. It takes up every second of your life. It becomes a part of you. 
I have never wanted to let my mental illnesses define me. I have always wanted to try and succeed in everything I do. Sometimes it’s not that easy. There are days where I simply can’t leave my bed. There are days where a simple task, like having a glass of water, seems like someone has asked you to run a marathon without any training. 
I’d be lying if I said that my mental health has improved recently. I am currently unemployed and I had big ‘life plans’ that unfortunately were not meant to be. This has left me feeling pretty worthless and useless. I spend every waking moment applying for jobs. I have been rejected for a few and I have also found my dream job, which I may not even get and I don’t want that reality to hit me yet. 
Despite this, I do have days where I feel ok enough to leave the house, I can do my hair and makeup and actually enjoy the day. I have days with Bradley where we laugh and mess about, and I don’t have a care in the world. Everything I have ever been depressed or anxious about suddenly disappears when I am with him, family or friends. 
Not everyday has to be taken over by negative thoughts. Some days will be taken over by negative thoughts. That’s ok. It is ok not to be ok. You should never feel ashamed in asking for help. You should never feel ashamed to have a day off and look after your mental health. 
This World Mental Health Day is the perfect chance for you to speak up. I know that is a massive step to take and some may not be as lucky to have someone who they are close to, to open up to. If you ever feel you need someone, I for one will be there for you, supporting you every step of the way. The world may feel like it is full of all things bad and ugly, but once you look beyond the dark clouds, there will be a rainbow and sunshine waiting for you. 
1 in 4 of us experience mental health issues each year. We need open our eyes and see it for what it truly is. People are ill and are not always able to get medical help, but we can be there for them. 
If there is ever a day where you want to ask for help, or reach out to others that may need help, today is that day. 

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