Wednesday, 31 May 2017

All the Celebrations

It's been a few weeks since I last blogged so I thought I'd do a little update post! 

So many celebrations have been had, many glasses have been 'cheersed' and a lot of cake has been eaten! On the 19th of May I turned 20 years old, I'm not quite sure how my twenties crept up so quickly but here I am! In my 20 years of life I have achieved a lot; primary school, secondary school, GCSEs, ALevels, two years of university, being highly commended in the Beauty Blogger Awards 2016 and much, much more! 

Looking back on my 20 years of life makes me realise how much I have experienced and achieved. We tend to ignore the little accomplishments after a while. Completing GCSEs and ALevels is just considered the norm but when I look back on it I am so proud of myself for pushing through those stressful times in my life and achieving the grades needed for university. It shouldn't be forgotten because it is considered the norm, we need to start celebrating all the accomplishments, big and small! 

I can now say that after another extremely stressful year at university, after all the hard work and revision, I've finished on another 1st class degree achieving a 1st in both exams. I really didn't have much hope for myself this year and I continuously doubted myself but... here I am, my second year of university finished with yet another 1st at the end of the year! 

Following on from this, I am also pleased to announce that I am now part of the editorial team at Student Minds as a sub-editor. This role will be for a year starting in June 2017 and ending in June 2018. I'm so excited to get fully invested in the charity and help raise awareness of mental health issues in students, as this is something that also affects me. 

My sister Hannah and I will also be participating in the Race for Life 5k Mud Race in October and we are already over halfway to raising our target amount! If you would like to read more about this, then head over to this blog post! 

I will also be uploading more on my blog and YouTube so keep your eyes peeled and make sure you subscribe here!

Thank you for all of your continued support and love! 

Monday, 8 May 2017

Going in Slow Motion

Recently I have been feeling a bit lost, a bit distant and out of touch from the world. So many things are happening all at once. So many changes. I don't know how to feel about it all and how to keep up with it. It feels like the world is carrying on around me at lightening speed and I'm going in slow motion. I've got my exams at the end of this week and next week and I have been cramming in as much revision as I physically can. But what am I going to do after that? I've my birthday and my sister's to look forward to and a holiday but that is about it!

I've got this sudden fear that I'm actually going to have time by myself to think (overthink) about everything. Last summer was tough... I had just finished a stressful year at uni, my ex dumped me and I had little to no friends. If it wasn't for Nicole and Katie (And Jack) I would have had one of the worst summers ever! I pretty much spent 4 months home alone, trying to find things to do during the day but had zero motivation to actually do them. 

I'd spend hours in bed just staring at the ceiling, thinking about life, endlessly scrolling through Twitter and Facebook until my fingers cramped up. Crying over my break up, feeling miserable day in and day out. I spent hours exercising (literally 2/3 hours on my exercise bike non-stop) just to fill the day up and to keep my mind active, so I didn't overthink every little detail and put myself in a bad mood. 

I know a lot of students feel like this, especially once they graduate and they are left to fend for themselves. I am dreading that feeling and I am praying that I'll be able to find a job as soon as possible. I guess I get the same sort of feelings as graduates do. I long for a break, uni is so intense and there is always something going on. But when you have time to actually stop and think and to have a bit of 'me' time, it isn't always a good thing. You're so alone in your own thoughts and you don't know what to do with yourself. I know my sister felt like this as well throughout uni and when she graduated, so I know it is all normal, but it still doesn't make it easy. 

A lot of people say to me "Enjoy your summer, you finally have a break and nothing to worry about" but the thing is, I can't fully enjoy it. Yes, it is nice to not have any guilt for chilling on the sofa and watching a film but at the same time, your mind is so used to being active and on the go 24/7, that your whole body just crashes. Like a deflating ballon, slowly shrivelling up and losing all motivation (air) to go through another day of being home alone. This year I have been actively looking for work experience/Internships to fill up some time and to gain some experience and possibly earn money, so I am hoping that I get something. However, I still need a break... I am really struggling to find the balance. 

Last year was tough and the lonely days got the better of me, to the point where one day I just broke down and told my parents I needed to see the doctor about my mental health. I was so consumed by own thoughts that I just wanted to speak to someone different. Which brings me on to talking about how important Mental Health Awareness Week is. From today (8th May) until the 14th May, it is Mental Health Awareness Week. A week of spreading awareness, supporting each other, opening up to loved ones or someone you trust. Share your story and help other people to share theirs. Don't let your thoughts consume you like mine did. Make this your week to open up and get help, or to just talk to a friend and feel less alone. 

You're brave, you're not alone, you can beat this!
Speak up and get help!